Difference

There were several things about American society* that surprised me -- even both of us -- when we first got here. Most of these things I already knew on some level, but it was still odd seeing it for myself. Other things could have been discerned from any series or film, but somehow passed under my radar.

A few examples:

• Americans have a very strong respect for personal space. People passing within half a meter of you in a supermarket isle will almost invariably say "excuse me" or "sorry," and smile at you apologetically. Very often, they will also step aside to let you pass. You might even get called Sir or Madam during the exchange. For anyone accustomed to the bumbly viking ways of Norway, where your average shopper hope you didn't notice it when they crashed into you or massacred your toe, it all feels strange -- and on some level exquisitely Victorian.

• Americans have very little respect for your presumed right to be left in peace. One cashier asked me what I was doing this weekend. They all ask how you are, and one never knows whether it is more worse to answer (embarrassingly playing along with the illusion that they care) or to not answer (ignoring them). It seems that "fine" or the non-sequiteur"how are you" is the way to go.

That being said, none of this is as odd as the various comments from strangers one more or less comes to expect. Random What Up Guys? and Cheer up Miss! and How You Doing? seemingly out of nowhere. Some hostile, many friendly, but all breaking the usual unspoken rule back home that you need a really good reason to speak to a stranger. If you see a stranger about to be hit by a bus or any other VERY LARGE vehicle, then you speak to him. Pretty much only then.

• Almost everyone here has a car. Few people use their legs to get from A to B. Most people that you see on the street -- once you move slightly out of downtown -- are either in their way in or their way out of a car. That, or they're walking their dog. When Thorsten and I walked to the coast last week we say maybe five people in the course of two hours. This on a sunny Saturday afternoon. You see more people in the park, but these are mostly people walking for the sake of walking (as opposed to walking to get somewhere), children playing, joggers, or retirees.

• People are extremely friendly in general. The good part about it is, they're friendly. It's nice. The bad part about it is, they are always friendly, even when they hate you. It is nigh impossible to trust the friendliness of people in a society when friendliness and super-duper cheerfulness is enforced to such a degree.

That being said, we've experienced some odd passive-aggressive behaviour too. That's not much better. A lady standing in front of us at the queue in the supermarket got offended when Peter tried to pass her with our trolley. OH DON'T MIND ME, I AM SURE YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY WAIT UNTIL I'M DONE (or such thing), she hissed at us. Whatever happened to being honest and telling people to their face when there is a problem?

Despite all of this, I'd like to stress that mostly people are just very helpful. That in itself is never a bad thing.

• ... however, on a similar note. There's something about Americans and euphemisms. I noticed my local dentist never once used the word "pain" when describing the joys of having a root canal done. I'd ask about pain, she's reply about discomfort. You might feel some discomfort. This careful use of cosmetically enhanced language struck me as strange -- even discomforting.

• The light signal for walking at a crossing is white, not green.

• About 50% of the people who ride buses (at least the one route we took) are strange and/or mad. The ones that are neither are simply too poor to afford a car, I'd venture to guess. Perhaps for this very reason it is apparently common for security guards to travel along. When we took the bus home from the mall that's a few km outside downtown Tacoma two weeks ago, two guards sat right behind us for the duration of the ride.

• They sell a pepper spray proudly embezzled with the university logo down at the University of Washington bookstore.

• This is an extremely segregated society. You have your educated middle class minority who listen to progressive radio, high-brow newspapers (whatever's left of them) and watch centrist news (what right-wingers tend to call liberal), have an affinity for Europe and world peace, buy organic brussel sprouts and no-fat pumpkin spice soy lattes and use PC language. Then you have all the others. The two (or four, or ten) different subgroups don't watch the same news, don't buy the same foods, have their own truths and their own facts and frankly don't live in the same reality. Seeing as the US is a society that solemnly believes in the sanctity of consumer choice, they can remain living happily in parallel bubbles till they kick the bucket -- having their political and ideological tastes catered to the same way they can be sure to have their taste in yoghurt represented in the supermarket isle.

• ... also, it makes you question to which degree choice is a luxury, and when exactly it becomes a tyranny. How many yoghurts does one really need? Once in a while, it is nice not being forced to choose everything all the time.

• Your typical American bread is very soft and very sweet. Even the whole-wheat one. We eat it every day and it doesn't taste bad, but it doesn't taste like the bread we're used to either.

• Soft drinks are often sickeningly sweet, and almost always always made with high-fructose corn syrup. If you want something less sweet made with regular sugar you have to buy drinks with a whole lot of cutesy philosophy and drawings and back-stories and hippie yoga flower vitamin unicorn nonsense on the bottle. Ironically, there is also a reverse movement in that some companies have started capitalizing on the sheer boredom I assume a lot of people must start feeling towards extremely nichey, extremely complicated products and are therefore offering simple products again. I am currently sipping a bottle of ice tea called HONEST TEA. Yesterday I bought some lettuce called GOOD CLEAN GREENS. You get my point.

• TO BE CONTINUED...

* ... or perhaps just a middle-sized town in the US, a military town, Tacoma in particular, the state of Washington, or the North-West -- depending on your particular angle and/or need for precision.

Americans in particular will often remind me that the US is a huge and diverse continent, and that I should be careful about characterizing whatever I experience in one place in particular as typical of America in general.